Xx...after being moody...xX

it's better after relieving some tension...
(i think, it's better now)
life is always up n down(dis is wat reminded me...)
not every time you will b at the peak,
you can b on the ground too when you r nt the 1st...
i realized it suddenly as i found tat it's useless to sad?
i would like to say tat,
everything has no return pathway in our life,
no reverse, as the time past,
wat you can do is,
look forward n step forward without regret.

it's ease to say but difficult to do.
human beings r always act as dis behaviour.
they will tend to speak more than do more indeed,
actually wat can b done by the human beings?
they can juz believe in themselves to fullfill their task in their life,
other than tat,
they need help from others,
cuz they r nt born to stand for loneliness,
they live as a big population.
they like to live wif the others, cuz they noe tat they r fragile.

though, the facts told me so, i still like to b alone
alone as in terms of being isolated fr the environment...
not opposing the natural...
bt, i chose,
chose to face it in person.

aizs.~find it slowly...
my personality....
retrace it....
========================================

i nid more betterment to improve everything of mine.
i nid more time to find myself.
i nid more time to finish my task
i nid more things,especially ability to dream,
a village girl's dream is not complicated always,
they juz hope tat
they'll gt wat they wanted to grasp fr the most initial moment they had made their wishes.
may the lord let me found the pathway i should go for...
i nid more strength to do everything.
i nid more...
no time to let myself to moody....
i think,(wat pn chan reminded us made me GUILTY AGAIN!)
it's supposedly made me firm n strive wat i need....
but i hv no idea tat y m i so depressed till i could not afford everything.

===================================

kit!!!!!
thank you!! thank you!!!!
thank you!!!!!!!!!

Xx...run away fr the reality if i could...xX

这个世界上，让我拥有想逃跑的地方，也许就是现在的学校。
说实在的，我矛盾。
明明知道，这一间学校是间好学校，
明明知道，这是一间让我能够成长的地方，
明明知道，这里是座像宝山的地方，
但，千万般无奈，让我感慨，自己的愚昧。

真的对自己很失望，
什么都不会，
什么都做错。
什么都做得慢，
什么都不明白。
过得不是其他人那般混混愕愕的，
可是得不到回报。
有努力，可是什么都不明白。

时时问自己，
真的努力了吗？
我并不是没有努力。
我有努力去争取。
但是我的资质不高，
真的让自己难以承受这份煎熬。

觉得自己做错了选择，
我真的很想逃，
我很想大哭一场，
我很想放弃。

真的，
心里真的很苦的时候，
只有自己撑，
心里有事情时，
除了家人，只想让顺和杰知道。
但是杰总是一笑代过，
也许只有顺能够低下头听我说，
让我发泄发泄。
就像今天，向顺撒娇，要他陪我站岗，
他也听我埋怨大大小小的事情，
也许我说话的方式都让人觉得我不是压力。

是我的语气太开朗？
是我的想法太敏感？
不知道。

我好累。
我想逃。
我想走。
我想飞。

飞到属于我的世界里。
======================

原来，
心里总会想起你们的时候傻笑。
=====================

真的希望能够常常与你们一起回家，
想起与你们欢笑的时时刻刻，
我总是能够自己甜甜的傻笑。
说实在的，
好想星期四站岗，
那么，就能和你们多说一些话。
和你们一起的半个小时，
让我甜甜的傻笑一整夜。
好久没有和云信息，
怀念一起信息的日子。
而且，只有他，
是我永远相信的人。
最好的知己？
也许吧！
我真的很想逃走的时候，
想起你说的话，
别逃走。
我很想努力，
但是，撑不下的时候，
你不在。
==========================

不想写有连接的事情，
只想记录只有自己明白的事情。
==========================

顺，杰，敏，也许只有你们，能够让我撑下去。

Xx...lost memory...xX

opps, it's should not happen for now,

as i nid to let the thing sinks in my mind(especially in the brain) now...

>

is it requiring more time to digest or wat?

if yes, can let the process to b fast fowarded?

i think it can b solved when i possessed doraemon's ability to let the time either stop or move forward or backward, lol?><

haizs,

*sigh...*

i m so keen to play computer games for these days...

but,

wat pn chan has spoken will b "recallde"

you r not afford to relax==

lol...

wat she said is the truth,

we r not allowed to rest more than studies, as the stpm will b the final challenge for us indeed.

actually everything is juz nice when you really hv run through entire syllabus.

but i think, i m d exemption as my brain is juz like refuse to diffuse wat teacher had tried their best to diffuse it...

i really wished tat all of the things tat i've learnt will b diffused it directly into my brain by "simple diffusion"><~!