Xx...exam's over...xX

lalala~it's sweet to say,

exam's over.

let me hv a short break n start another journey~XD~

===================

知道吗，

我看着你的眼睛的时候，

心里，

有个想法

那就是

我总想一直照顾你。

这份喜欢，

原来是那么的简单，

那么的复杂。

你的名字，

已经在我的心里，

写了多少遍，

我不知道。

你的存在，

原本是一份单纯的开心，

如今，

是一份错中带痛的感觉。

因为，

有种错觉，

我不是你的菜。

我不是你的菜。

我不完美，

我长得不美，

我的脾气不好，

我的成绩不好，

我的条件不好，

我的人格奇怪。。。。

太多太多的不对，

不是你的菜。

我不适合。

年纪相差太远，

有时沟通不来，

造成了无言的时刻，

我只想呆在你身边。

我累了。

看着你，

我总觉得

是我自恋了~

Xx...frighten?...xX

wednesday night, i met sth weird n also scary which cause me could not sleep well for the entire night.

actually tat day i was supposedly studying about bio,

but i met sth , n i do not how to express it as well,

n i think it should not b described too.

juz try to warn those ppl who r having period to b careful.

anything can b happened.

=================

exam is going to start tml n yet,

everything has not been touched,

(touch in terms of study n revise)

no revision has been done,

no past year questions have been tackled,

no texts have been taken out to look thoroughly...

lol...

it means

going to fail again

nvr min

fail den fail lol!

i dun min~XD

kit will say: wat you said is not the same as wat you thought inside your heart,

ok...

wat he'd said was right,

i must confess tat,

i did want to strike the best.

striking 3.5?

it means,

all of the subjects at least get A-...

lol...

how far is the dream?

i do not noe n dare not to discover it.

======================

当思念从水龙头一涌而出，

什么东西都成型，

就连思念的形状，

都是真实的。

Xx..when a matter is keep repeating.....xX

like the tittle above,

when a matter is keep repeating day n night,

what would you like to comment bout it?

for me.

my answer would b merely a sentence,

not more than 5 words,

run away and avoid it.

this is wat i could say indeed.

lol!

it's very frustrated while i was facing failure though i've put my effort on it.

i noe, i did.

but not as much as others can.

i m not able to understand fast because of my weak language,

i m not able to read more also because of the stupid language barrier,

n i m not able to answer the question fluently,

is also becuz of the unacceptable reason for my class(i think)

sometimes,.

i did really wonder,

y m i pondering in the unfamiliar school compound?

i asked myself,

n keep repeating it daily

n remind myself the same thing everyday

"dun ever you dare to give up tat easily like a game!"

though i've tried hard,

but so how?

i didn't gt much

(though i gt some fr the bio which made me happy n kit feasted me a vitagen becuz of it XD~)

i noe myself very well.

i've been looked down....

by those ppl.

those unfriendly environment.

not only the classmates.

but also teachers....

i would like to run away.

if i had given a chance to do so.

sometimes, lies surrounded me.

in order to achieve some strength...

but, it's useless when the hope becomes fade.

i m so sad tat wish the game can b ended soon n let myself to own a good rest.

i dun even dare to face the results by this time for the next year.

it's tired,

when ppl getting tired n have no spirit to continue wat they should finish in their life.

n i m seriously demand a rest without thinking much.

i wished tat i've been bestowed to own a brilliant brain,

n it will relieve the tension for now.

everything during future is depending on your cert!

especially the results inside!

it makes me feel cold n uncertain when these phrases keep voicing out through my brain...

it's so scary tat made me fade up n nearly to give up

if

let say if, ok?

it's gud

if, i can leave the world without facing the difficulties which i dun dare to face.

no matter is muet or stpm,

they r leading the strand.

either a bright or a dark strand of mine.

it's gud,

if i m fortunate enuf to strike gcpa 3.

if not, wat will happen?

i'm not willing to think bout it though i m working hard to prevent it happened in my life.

everything is not as simple as ABC...

i'm scare to say tat,

i'm not brave enuf to face it

i hate to face reality.

but,

i still nid to force myself to stand firm

for the fame

n also the future.

so scare tat,

everything is wasted.

i missed the secondary school life,

without much burden as now.

y m i changing the school instead of staying the best place i've ever met b4?

if you asked this earlier,

mayb,

i will give a firm ans for you.

but now,

i'll say

i duno...cuz i m running away.

kiss the rain, again.

i nid sb's shoulder.

n sleep.

Whenever I step into the garden, every moment in my childhood appears in my mind. Everything in the garden is connected with every second I in the last decade. I was the little princess in this garden, as I had the right to do everything I like, for instance: built a sand castle with the sand beneath the rambutan trees, played on a swing in the sweet garden, fooled around with the pets which my grandmother possessed and so on. Every scene seems memorable and nostalgic.

I was a simple minded and imaginative girl. I used to create new thing daily to surprise my parents and grandparents. I like to laugh and happiness seems an easy thing to get from a simple matter. It is totally different if compared the life after a decade. In this moment, there are no much reasons to let myself to laugh or happy with. Although everyone still can live happily now, it seems to be quite hard to grab as compared with the childhood I have experienced before. Lastly, happiness was just as simple as ABC or one plus one we had learnt during the primary school when we were in childhood but not for a gradually growing up children.

Everything is not as simple as a child’s life after growing up gradually. It is complicated and you have to take the responsibility when you had done something wrongly. Unlike a child, though you had made any mistake, adults would just have nagged and reminded you not to repeat the mistake, everything would be settled after a smile from you as you are the queen for the whole family. You are always forgiven for any matter but not as teenager in a school or an adult in the society nowadays. You have to face the music after causing some unpredicted consequences although the mistake is not done by you. It is innocent to listen to, but this is life, whenever something happened, someone has to come out and take over the burden.

Though it pains, joy is still can be found after growing up. When you are growing up, you learnt more complicated things that you might wanted to know since you were a little girl or boy such as photosynthesis of the plant, algebra and Newton’s law. Everything is learnt through the education in school which you would never have a chance to explore and gain the knowledge in a child’s world as it is too complicated and difficult. You have no opportunity to learn these during childhood as you are sentenced that you will never understand this.

Other than that, you have the chance to widen your social circle by knowing new friends in the school and you would have the opportunity to meet true friends who can share everything together in your life. You may share the happiness or sadness you experienced and met in your life. True friends will help you while you were facing any difficulties by proposing or suggesting a good solution to overcome the problem. In such situation, it can be considered as a happy reason after growing up.

While human beings were growing up daily, their mind is becoming more mature than the day before as they gained new experience from it. Growing up is a necessity and unavoidable event for each life. Hence, face it bravely and you will have a good live when you grab a firm principle in your life. Principle will prolong and enlighten your life whenever you have met any plight as you will overcome it. Lastly, I would like to end up by advising everyone that, let us growing up happily with a positive mental attitude.

Xx...grandma...xX

外婆，是一个既亲切又陌生的家人。
她亲切，
只因她的存在，
是你母亲的母亲，也是你父亲的长辈。
她陌生，
只因她不是常常在我们的左右，
有什么事情发生，
你知道，她不知道，
她知道，而你却不晓得。

我，
感到愉悦，
因为我拥有了这号人物长达18年。
她不仅没有施压于我，
而且常常在于满足的状态。
她总是那么的开朗，
虽然，
她也有生气的时候。
但是，
面对我们这些内孙外孙的时候，
她从不表现。

在我人生中的第十九年，
她离开了。
离开了这个充满苦涩的人生。
她受了一次的轮回之苦，
来到了这个世上，
成为我的外婆。
她因缘来到红尘，
为我的生命增添一位可爱又可敬的长辈。
她默默地付出，
让妈妈的家，
拥有了光芒。

她的笑容，
历历在目，
让此时此刻的我，
痛感失亲之痛。
她的笑容，
一直徘徊在眼影中，
让我怀念我们曾经一起度过的日子。
她的笑容，
让我明白，
她的存在，都没有消失过。

曾以为，
我已无泪可流。
但是，
它不经我的同意，
滑落下来。
这一刻的我，
我才明白，
原来，
外婆，在我们的心里，
是没有办法消失的。

在今年的情人节，
我没有办法拥有太多笑容，
因为我尝试了在情人节的前天，
目睹自己的亲人永远埋在没有温度的地底。
从今往后，
我们都不知道她过的好不好。
我们都不知道她会在哪，
更重要的是，
我们不知道，
她会不会记得我们。

外婆相信佛法，
也许她与释迦牟尼有缘，
得此慧根，
相信人时既是苦。
所以，她往生后，
发愿到西方极乐世界去。
这是她所愿，
我认为。

但是，
此时此刻的她，
真的到达了目的地吗？
我不知道。
因为我没有面临过死亡。
我没有经历过。
说实在的，
我不希望外婆再度坠入轮回之苦。
人世一切都是难。

所以，
外婆，
你一定要加油！
去到你的目的地！
===========================
i think,
i have to conclude tat,
i'll missed her.
as much as pos...

i'll miss every cny which we gathered b4 in penang.

i love you!
grandma...

Xx...Time...xX

it's limited,
i realised and discovered this for a long time ago.
but,
now, it seems tat there r some new defination for time in my dictionary.

TIME,
it's a cruel matter which can cause you stress and tension.
As you hv limitation on it,
so,you have to tell yourself everyday n keep reminding yourself,
you hv no time n you nid to grab them as firm as possible!
it makes you feel guilty when time is used for sleeping n playing!
n it makes you more even guilty when you cannot concentrate on your studies,
though u really make your effort on it!

lol! i found tat,
though i wanted to study,
my heart,
hs some sort of anti toward it!
so moody n imbalance!

====================

川页
我回想起很多事情。
真的很感谢你的存在。
倘若没有你，
也许我也忘了，
人也有自尊这回事。
也许，
被人贬低惯了，
知觉也不见了。

小木点。
其实，
我也很感激你的存在。

有你们真好~

Xx...fermentation, oxygen, haemoglobin n eyc made me mad!...xX

from the title, you should be able to justify my situation now!
BINGO! i'm facing tonne of stress while i m facing my bio!
bio ah bio,
y m i fearing on you without any significant reasons,
you really made me faint everytime while i m studying bout you.
it's not merely a reading subject ok?!
nvr try to prejudise this b4 knowing our standard, can't you?
i was like nearly broke down when teacher said tat bio is an easy subject...

y i dun think so?
i was wondering y.
unfortunately, it seems tat the reason dare not to c me in person,
he had hidden somewhere which is invisible.
lol! fear not, as i m going to figure it out!
bio! let me conquer you after searching the reason tat why m i so fear tat could not study bout you thoroughly!
i've tried my best to grasp n yet,
no any positive consequence can be observed.
lol, 3.5 is getting far away fr me!
this is wat i promised to my family!

====================

i m envy toward those can understand the text easily without suffering...
especially those ppl...
THOSE!
aizs, it made me imbalance for these days,
as i found tat,
it's useless though you've treated it seriously
n wat you accepted is...
you r weak! a weak student.
this is the quote tat made me moodless n felt stress for these days.
especially after receiving the muet results.
actually y m i transfering to tat school?
it's used to b had a firm reason,
but now, i can't find it as i lost at somewhere.
as i noe clearly,
wat i like n wat i dislike.

hv been ignored by many ppl tat made me unhappy.
it should b happier in the last year of receiving the school life,
one of the "present" tat bestowed by the lord.
but somehow, i found tat,
i m keep regret-ing
i noe it obviously,
i want my life as b4...
like my f4 n f5 life.
the school forced the little girl to b mature,
n let her woke up fr a very sweet dream,
telling her tat, you r nt afford to relax....
bla bla bla...

i was.....
.....
speechless, dis is wat i can express i think.

i m still love music,
not as i thought b4 tat the enthusiasm will b fate...
it did not occur but the other way round,
i found tat,
i nid it more, FREQUENTLY!
more than i can say, n speak frankly!
I DEMAND IT!
i do not want them to disappear from my life either.

i noe myself too well.
i m a person who anti complicated stuff.
but, i m forced to take it.

=======================

feel guilty,
but wat to do?
tat's me!
forcing myself to study the things i dislike the most!
this is me!

Xx..the lever...xX

I'm imbalance for these days!!!!!
without reasons again, i think.
i'm quite lazy for these days as the balance told me to stop the hardworking stuff,
n try to b myself/
opps,it's shouldn't b so...
>again!

Xx...after being moody...xX

it's better after relieving some tension...
(i think, it's better now)
life is always up n down(dis is wat reminded me...)
not every time you will b at the peak,
you can b on the ground too when you r nt the 1st...
i realized it suddenly as i found tat it's useless to sad?
i would like to say tat,
everything has no return pathway in our life,
no reverse, as the time past,
wat you can do is,
look forward n step forward without regret.

it's ease to say but difficult to do.
human beings r always act as dis behaviour.
they will tend to speak more than do more indeed,
actually wat can b done by the human beings?
they can juz believe in themselves to fullfill their task in their life,
other than tat,
they need help from others,
cuz they r nt born to stand for loneliness,
they live as a big population.
they like to live wif the others, cuz they noe tat they r fragile.

though, the facts told me so, i still like to b alone
alone as in terms of being isolated fr the environment...
not opposing the natural...
bt, i chose,
chose to face it in person.

aizs.~find it slowly...
my personality....
retrace it....
========================================

i nid more betterment to improve everything of mine.
i nid more time to find myself.
i nid more time to finish my task
i nid more things,especially ability to dream,
a village girl's dream is not complicated always,
they juz hope tat
they'll gt wat they wanted to grasp fr the most initial moment they had made their wishes.
may the lord let me found the pathway i should go for...
i nid more strength to do everything.
i nid more...
no time to let myself to moody....
i think,(wat pn chan reminded us made me GUILTY AGAIN!)
it's supposedly made me firm n strive wat i need....
but i hv no idea tat y m i so depressed till i could not afford everything.

===================================

kit!!!!!
thank you!! thank you!!!!
thank you!!!!!!!!!

Xx...run away fr the reality if i could...xX

这个世界上，让我拥有想逃跑的地方，也许就是现在的学校。
说实在的，我矛盾。
明明知道，这一间学校是间好学校，
明明知道，这是一间让我能够成长的地方，
明明知道，这里是座像宝山的地方，
但，千万般无奈，让我感慨，自己的愚昧。

真的对自己很失望，
什么都不会，
什么都做错。
什么都做得慢，
什么都不明白。
过得不是其他人那般混混愕愕的，
可是得不到回报。
有努力，可是什么都不明白。

时时问自己，
真的努力了吗？
我并不是没有努力。
我有努力去争取。
但是我的资质不高，
真的让自己难以承受这份煎熬。

觉得自己做错了选择，
我真的很想逃，
我很想大哭一场，
我很想放弃。

真的，
心里真的很苦的时候，
只有自己撑，
心里有事情时，
除了家人，只想让顺和杰知道。
但是杰总是一笑代过，
也许只有顺能够低下头听我说，
让我发泄发泄。
就像今天，向顺撒娇，要他陪我站岗，
他也听我埋怨大大小小的事情，
也许我说话的方式都让人觉得我不是压力。

是我的语气太开朗？
是我的想法太敏感？
不知道。

我好累。
我想逃。
我想走。
我想飞。

飞到属于我的世界里。
======================

原来，
心里总会想起你们的时候傻笑。
=====================

真的希望能够常常与你们一起回家，
想起与你们欢笑的时时刻刻，
我总是能够自己甜甜的傻笑。
说实在的，
好想星期四站岗，
那么，就能和你们多说一些话。
和你们一起的半个小时，
让我甜甜的傻笑一整夜。
好久没有和云信息，
怀念一起信息的日子。
而且，只有他，
是我永远相信的人。
最好的知己？
也许吧！
我真的很想逃走的时候，
想起你说的话，
别逃走。
我很想努力，
但是，撑不下的时候，
你不在。
==========================

不想写有连接的事情，
只想记录只有自己明白的事情。
==========================

顺，杰，敏，也许只有你们，能够让我撑下去。

Xx...lost memory...xX

opps, it's should not happen for now,

as i nid to let the thing sinks in my mind(especially in the brain) now...

>

is it requiring more time to digest or wat?

if yes, can let the process to b fast fowarded?

i think it can b solved when i possessed doraemon's ability to let the time either stop or move forward or backward, lol?><

haizs,

*sigh...*

i m so keen to play computer games for these days...

but,

wat pn chan has spoken will b "recallde"

you r not afford to relax==

lol...

wat she said is the truth,

we r not allowed to rest more than studies, as the stpm will b the final challenge for us indeed.

actually everything is juz nice when you really hv run through entire syllabus.

but i think, i m d exemption as my brain is juz like refuse to diffuse wat teacher had tried their best to diffuse it...

i really wished tat all of the things tat i've learnt will b diffused it directly into my brain by "simple diffusion"><~!

Xx...3?...xX

it's depressed when i was staring on the marks given.
oh, felt tat, i do really deserve the marks.
n also everything tat the teachers criticized.
aizs...
sad for the marks n band.
but satisfied for the effort b4 i think.
without the effort which has done for previous day,
i feel tat it's impossible to get band 3 too....
(thought it personally...)

so, wat i should do now?
listen, speak, write n read more!
i think these are the things which i can do now.
so, anyone join me?
XD~this is for sure to those yu hua fren^^
let's add oil together bah~

==========================
我知道，我心里还是喜欢着这个叫华文的语言。
要我脱离，
根本不可能吧。
这个3，意识着我需要与华文说再见一阵子。
唉，悔不当初？
可能吧？
可是，就像大多友人所说的，
没有时间忏悔，
只有让自己开始赶头迎上。
要加油，但是没有油好加？

==========================
a quick summary for this week is here~
Sunday:
2.1.11
i was hurrying for my hw==

Monday
3.1.11
school reopened...
i was like...
haizs! the most stressful day tat i ever met.
every teacher was...
keep reminding us to do more revision...
must do this or that,
it made me frustrated indeed.
if can, i would like to run away fr here.
though everyone was asking me not to run more fr the reality frequently.
opps.
made me stress==
neglect those minor minor thing
==

Tuesday
4.1.11
it was the horrible day as i could not do any question of the chem small test...
haha, i din do any revision at all~
haha, i juz feel tat,
bb stpm, i'm goin to fail it!
==
n i found sth interesting.
my dad n his sibling's notes n textbooks are found in one of my house cupboard!
i was like very excited n grateful as they hv left sth precious tat i think it will help me after some days.
i nid them to improve myself through the books.
mayb they left sth important notes n knowledge.

Wednesday...
5.1.11
i think, i'vw overslept tat day as i was forcing myself to do my hw until 4.30.
oh no!
i was unable to finish it though i did do my best to finish it!
haizs, i was nearly caught by my bio teacher tat i din finish my hw at all==
i was not lazy...
aizs...
den, i went to shopping center wif my dad.
*to buy my mum's birthday present*
hehe~i like the bag
n i gt some information today..
*my mum does not like it....sad.T.T

6.1.11
Thursday
the saddest day tat i ever met after 2011 started...
MUET result is coming out today n yet.
i noe it very well.
i will deserve a bad band.
though i noe it will b bad, it's getting worst as tat day i m nt in the spirit to do anything,
especially for my exp.
den...
i was...
aizs...
i felt tat sad bcuz of the conversation wif a teacher.
who i respect the most among my sub teachers...
but, the only hapi thing was...
kin kit n me went home together.
it's such a way to release the sadness n nervousness through talking wif him
he din console me,
but juz ask me to study harder for next time.
haizs...
i noe...
but how?
stress button is switched on AGAIN!
crying for the entire night tat day....

7.1.11
Friday
i felt tat, i m happy.
after conversation wif my muet tuition gang.
wif them,
at least, tension is nt needed.
for me.
i love to b wif them.
it's like reunion wif old frens.
thx, guys, feel better after talking wif u all.
n also mr seelan.
appreciation is specially for you!
thx for consoling me....
i'll strive the 4 or 5 in future!

8.1.11
my mum birthday.
n yet, no celebration.
she is at penang now.
k~tat's for this week~

======================

Xx...school reopened...xX

halo stressful life n bye bye to my luxuries...

it's 5.15am now.i hv just finished revised my krebs cycle...

==it's such a plight when i nid to touch the textbooks to STUDY!

oh no!it's so suffer tat i dare not to think of it will b part of my future university life==

ok.let's say no together to sc stream!

NO~no sc field in future(for me lar, you r most welcomed if you were interested to join the jamboree...)

haha, i m HYPERBOLA it.

but it's true tat...

i'm really cant cope wif it><

oh no!

as the school reopened, it's representing we have to RUSH!

if can, i think we nid to dash==

every single day, we have to worry much of things tat i wish not to anxious bout!

especially for small test!

it's going to b worst if i've ad "trained" myself well to gt used to fail my subjects paper~X)

haha~it's not funny at all i noe...

(ku xiao==)

k...

nid to off for preperation to school~

Xx...bon voyage,2010 n halo~2011...xX

2010和2011最大的分别是什么？
当然是那个1字。
唉，如今，年长了，心却希望能够放慢点，让自己看得清楚。
看看自己，看看别人，
看看世界，看看宇宙，
看看书，看看戏。
等等。

2011年，将会有....
太多的东西等待我的看法。
太多的仓促等待我的动作。
太多的期待等待我去实践。

有点悲凉？文不恰题？
或许是。

好吧，正式踏入正题。
来回顾我的2010年。
我的10年，
过得不一样，
尤其，在新学校。

每每回想在母校的日子，
都带点悲腔而欲涕下的感怀，
很想逃避现实，
很想出走，
很想很想....
有很多的很想，
但是，这份很想，
确实是寄放在一个叫家的地方，
一个曾经属于我的地方，
一个让我陌生，又熟悉的地方，
那就是我的乐。
无尽的思念，集游在乐海中。

现在的我，
虽然不比以前差，
但是，2010年的我，
患得患失的。
得到了光明，亦得到了黑暗，
得到了希望，亦得到了绝望，
得到了朋友，亦得到了知己。
得到的，不少，
尤其家人的支持。
但是，
我
失去了梦想，亦失去了习惯，
失去了练习，亦失去了信任，
失去了爱情，亦失去了冷静，
失去的，不输于得到的。
尤其在失恋期里，
崩溃得，
无言以对。

不要紧，
我在2010年，
明白了很多。
想通了，不再像以前那般单纯。
也许脑袋装有太多不该有的思绪，
但是却让我受益良多。

回想今年每一个月所做的一切，
发现自己在每一个月
思绪就进步了一些。
君子坦荡荡，没有什么不见得光，
也没有什么好记载。
因为，
有些事情，就让他成为记忆。
所以，我不记载了。
我让他成为不用说的记忆，
不用记载的心情。

看起来，有点灰，
但是，
恍然明白，
人之记忆美于难能可贵。
贵于一身一次，经身体验。
所以，让自己做一回小大人吧~XD~

-2010年，正式向你说拜拜~-

========================

好的！

2011年的我！

只有2个目标！

1）本人已答应乐队的队友们要考好成绩！

为了你们，我拼！3.5，你等我！

（其实不只是为了队友，

还有为了家人。）

2）本人在STPM要考好！所以！本人开始闭关！

除非有大事记载！

不然，绝不踏入此地！

谢谢

！

大家，你们会祝福我吧~？
^^

==========================

特别感谢.........

兴隆，俊荣，慧青，.....

心皓，eunice， brenda，wan yee....

仪媚，晃佑，蕙心...

（简称，队友们）

佳业，小小，德威，荣昌，.....

米粉，郑义，

（简称，老朋友们）

怀恩，洁莹，gan~...

深海鱼...

（简称，今年通过乐队认识的新朋友）

adrian， kin kit, joe wai....

dennis,jin shin, yong shean...

eric, reo sei, may,

yin, mei xue, jon,

mun chong....

(MBS的朋友）

还有很多很多，

谢谢你们。

Xx...the end?...xX

erm,felt depressed after coming back after the telematch.
is it the ambience tat caused me to feel sad?
i duno.
really.
if i could,
i want to stay at my home.
forever.

Xx...everything...xX

it's a totally satisfied after practicing with my band.
i should show up my appreciation i think~XD
at here!
thx for letting me to hv fun!

erm...everything is needed to b emphasized n yet!
i din complete anything~hoho~
cuz of the laziness! eeeew!
* but i m hardworking to sleep, play n eat~hoho~xP
gt many thing to share indeed...
the stories should b separated into some part....

==================================
part 1
the practice wif my band.
i love to practice wif them, especially when i was sad.
it's one of the treatment to cure the wound tat i had,
n also let me to own some directions for my life.
without the direction, i dun think i can solve any problem tat endure me xD
so, i nid to thanks to those were lending their ears when i was nagging bside them,
hoho...
*siew hong, sin hou n edmund...
i'll rmb wat you guys said on tat day...
especially quote fr edmund :"世界不止是你一个人“
sin hou :"做人要自私一点”
everything is still saved inside my brain n i dun it can b deleted easily by just clicking it~lol ==...
this is case 1...
after practicing wif them, i was strolling around metro point wif them,
cuz we hv to accompany edmund to hv a haircut...
it's a gud way to release the sadness inside the heart along the way after leaving yu hua....
oh~~~~~~i like to walk around in kajang town wif my band~XD~
case 2 after practice...
it's such a great feeling after having conversation wif coach,
i'm curious tat, y m i having a lot of things to talk wif him,
he'd taught a lot of things to me n i hv learnt the lessons too!
it's such a fortunate as one of his proud student~XD~(i think)
i love to talk wif him.
it such a class for me to learn sth fr talking...xP.
erm....
we talked lot...but mostly of them are band.
our band n also a lot of stuff,
hard to imagine, my life without band indeed.
band hs commenced the journey of mine to become more mature than the previous day in my secondary school life.
everything, was started fr band.
case 3...
my lips was swollen after i practiced my sax.
eew!it's such an embarrassment as a senior.
haha....

part 2
the difficulty to choose
erm...indeed...i was choosing between the events.
which should i go?
i was wondering...
go along wif them? or going the other event alone?
at last, i've decided.
goin alone to the event.
k, it's not a bad decision actually, i was not alone as my family were accompanying me for the entire night,
i love them as they follow me to the concert.
k...though we had some arguments.

part 3
during watching the concert...
i was...
erm..how to say? it's speechless i think, as dis is quite subjective to b said,
n i have the rite to reject to speak out i think.
juz...
wat i want to comment is...
is quite surprised.
as sth hs forced me to think sth.

actually, there r still a lot of parts to list out,
but.
i think i hv no time to share.
n some of it.
juz leave it as memory.


======================
last, i would like to announce!
i m going to die for my stpm 2011!
wait n c!
it'll b a colourfull results!
~><~
k~all the best!

========================
next announcement!
i'll b very bz start fr tml.
duno hw to die as i hv not finished my hw,
tq.
nitezs~world~=)

Xx...讨厌...xX

讨厌的时候，就是讨厌，
不用解释。

流星雨

数日前，获得消息，得知今日将有流星雨的出现。
其实，今夜真的是个很特别的晚上。

其实没什么顺利的。

隔了一个小时多，
终于看到了。
不明显的，
让我明白，
流星就如好人。
好人难遇...

寂寞？

最近喜欢独自一个人的晃晃这个世界。
太孤单，
因为心里总是放不下一些事迹。
每每听到悦耳的音乐，
我总是想起我的家。

如今的我，
就好像流浪的小孩，
没法回到家的小孩。
也许，
家，
才是最温暖的地方。

记忆犹新，
想起与你们的回忆。
难免让一个出门在外的野孩子落寞一番。
我思念，
我怀念，
更是不舍放弃。

也许，
这个家，
只是人生中的小团体，
可是，
他给与的，
是改变与成长。

我总是怀念过去，
我喜欢回味以前，
我的个性，
往往都是住在火星一样的居民。
别人看不透，
我也不愿让他们知道。

这一切，
都是自尊作祟。
我总是在百思之中无法得以解脱。
说实在的，
家，
是我唯一的寄托。

想起我以前如何生存下去，
我好像都是以家作为标准，
我心里的一切，
都是以咏乐为主。
没有其他的东西。

这份玩乐，
注下我的成绩。
肯定考不好的成绩。
压抑？
没有了。

-for the last time-

在我最后一次，
在我闭上眼睛之前，
我想对你说我爱你，
在你怀里，舍不得放弃，
心里有千言万语还没说给你听，
我使劲全力，
不想闭上眼睛，
这次告别就不能再相遇，
不能再陪你，但不要忘记，
你曾经答应我你会好好活下去。
-最后一次-

dis is the lyrics tat really telling out my feelings n thoughts.
it's telling me not to give up the things easily which i should grab it
and to hold it as tight as possible.
do not let any chances to lose it
n release it fr my palm....
yeap~like wat adrian said b4...

not running fr the mind but run for your health.

i'm quite envious toward those who do things without considering everything...
they will juz like...
finished it by their own.
without think of any reason why they do,
and also for the consequence.
i'm totally different from them indeed.
i think,
i have no much determination to finish my task as
i m really lack of concentration in everything
it's actually a simple thing,
if you really did it continuously *i think*
but
it became one of the impossible task
in the impossible goal in the list deep in my heart...==

i post dis lyrics
as i want to remind myself...
everyone n everything tat i can do
are precious.
as i hv the abality to do it n
fulfill it...

i hv the chances
n yet,
i've wasted it.
i noe.
it's not allowed,
it happened...
for these years,
no more giving up...
add oil...
^^

=========================
最近和一个中二生谈得投机。
说实在的，
和他谈话的时候，
总感到温馨。
不为什么
温馨就温馨吧！
没有任何解释，
和辩解。
高兴，和他谈天的时候，
真的很单纯的开玩笑~
可惜的是，
他不会华语~赫赫~